September 28 . 2019

Hey! Week 2! That wasn’t so bad.

THANK. YOU. LORD.

I did lots of touristy things. Saw a lot of beautiful architecture, drank lots of Spanish wine, got some DOPE blisters from walking everywhere and felt better about this decision. A lot of people have asked me why I did this. Why here? Why now?

Simply, I wanted my life to change.

I wanted something that I couldn’t name. Something so different I couldn’t even imagine it, I could only live it. I often forget that change is uncomfortable, it pushes you in ways you didn’t expect, and sometimes it feels like getting the rug pulled out from under you. But, it is—technically—what I wanted. ‘Careful what you ask for’ moment.

Learning to be okay when everything is different than what you expected, when everything is out of your control. Stability in instability. Calm in chaos.

Letting go.

And then something really amazing happened. Well besides feeling better. I noticed that things went a little more smoothly. I GOT A JOB. During the interview she just, hired me. I’ll be a private English tutor, lesson plans provided, great hours, great pay, no paperwork necessary. DREAM.

I AM SO EXCITED

I still am not sure what the long term plan is, but I am more than okay with that. Baby steps.

Week 1

Hello, and welcome to my first ever blog post! Exciting!

All of these posts will act like a digital sketchbook. For those of you who are sensitive to brutal honesty and excessive cursing please turn back now.

I will be sharing what is going on with me.. good, bad, ugly, but most importantly honest.

This was my first week and FUCK it was a rough one. I knew that moving to a country where you know no one and can’t speak the language would be a challenge but JEEZ life really had some surprises for me.

I had my passport stolen THEN I find out from my doctor in the US that I need a medical procedure done on DAY ONE. Oof. So yeah coming here definitely felt like a mistake. That I was stupid to think this could ever work. What am I going to do? (I really don’t know) BUT I’m going to move forward, well stumble on, anyway.

I know i’m not stupid for things outside of my control. It’s a learning process.

Yes. I have hard days. But I also have really incredible days. I cling to the beauty and kindness I experience and I cry when I’m feeling lonely. I am a full spectrum of human emotion.

I got everything with my passport sorted. As far at the medical procedure? We’ll find out.